| the united way rap (1988) |

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here’s my first attempt at rap (and last,too, i think…). i wrote this in the late 80s. i volunteered to be united way captain for the company i was working at – basically hand out forms, nag people to give, say ‘thank you’ to those that do, and give a face saying ‘you greedy sob’ to those that don’t. anyway, we had a speaker from one of the local charities come talk to a large group of people in our auditorium, and this was played over the sound system as the first part of the ’show’. i instructed everyone how to say ‘huh!’ at my direction at the appropriate times. they did well.

(for those too young to remember, see this link for the bakker reference and this one – the note for 1987 – for oral roberts…)

the united way rap

the united way rap

i got a big paycheck
but i’m a nervous wreck
cause i don’t know how to spend it
i got a helpin’ hand
don’t ya understand
but i’m not sure how to lend it
i need simplicity
in my charity
the givin’ must be easy, ok?
so listen’ up ya hear
cuz the answer is clear
i give it the united way

now the folks from united
would be just delighted
if you’d help them out in doin’ good
you don’t have to be vocal
they keep the money local
helpin’ out in the neighborhood
they help unwed mothers
give kids big brothers
show lotsa folksa brighter day
give big give small
it don’t hurt at all
donatin’ the united way

now don’t be rude or crude
or have a bad attitude
when you’re asked to help someone else
your luck may go bad
you lose all that you had
and you cannot even help yourself
collection men will be sent
and say, ‘your check has been spent!’
‘fore you ever even get to payday
so think about it with us
and be generous
cause we’re workin’ the united way

we won’t twist your arm
or cause you any harm
if you say ‘no’ to our solicitation
but now ponder still
if we don’t help, who will
aid these folks in their desparation?
we want her to say ‘yes!’
and him ‘i guess…’
and buckwheat to say ‘otay!
God has blessed us good
and we all should
be givin’ the united way!’

now there’s lotsa fancy men who givin’ the time
will take you for your very last nickel and dime
they say ‘you’ll feel good buyin’ a rolls for me’
(play Pass The Loot with jimmy and tammy b)
but the folks today from the united way
are simply nicely askin’ for a bit of your pay
fillin’ out the little form is all ya havta do
you’ll be helpin’ lotsa people, get a tax deduction too

so just a little share
you tell us what is far
this ain’t no guilt abduction
you just sign up you see
we take it painlessly
through a payroll … deduction
i ain’t tryin’ ta preach
but there’s a goal to reach
fifteen million bucks is what we seek
and oral’s here to report
that if we’re too far short
we’ll all be called to heaven next week

copyright 1988 ruckersongs. all rights reserved. void where prohibited. do not take while driving or operating heavy machinery.

~ by mikerucker on October 24, 2009.